What do you mean by "boundaries?"
On defining clear, honest boundaries at work
I hear the term “boundaries” tossed around a lot, even by myself (whoops…).
By now, I think much of the workforce can agree—boundaries are indeed a good thing. They allow us to assert our values, needs, and comfort levels. They promote our well-being and support us in maintaining healthy relationships. They keep us from crossing the line.
Sounds great, right? Totally.
But coming to an agreement on the importance of boundaries can only achieve so much. The real issue is this:
What are “boundaries?”
What do we actually mean when we talk about “boundaries?”
What do “boundaries” really look like?
What I’ve come to understand about boundaries is that they’re best applied only when they’re clearly defined, and best respected only when they’re clearly understood.
But similar to our friend ambiguity, which I’ve highlighted pretty extensively over the past week, there’s some murkiness when we talk about boundaries.
Why? Well, like ambiguity, boundaries carry with them an element of “open to interpretation.” “Apply as needed.” “That’s not what I meant.”
And the answer to this problem? A bit more definition.
A bit more clarity.
A bit more… you guessed it… honesty.
Below I highlight 8 different kinds of boundaries alongside tips for practical application at the office.
Emotional boundaries
Emotional boundaries are limits around what we’re comfortable sharing (or not sharing), and how we protect our energy in the context of receiving emotions.
Emotional boundaries are saying, “I want to support, but I’m really not in the headspace to take this on right now.” It’s giving ourselves permission not to absorb someone else’s stress just because.
Physical boundaries
Physical boundaries are limits around our needs pertaining to space, touch, and safety.
Physical boundaries are saying, “I need 30 minutes of quiet, focused work time right now. Find me on my email later.” It’s asking for a bit more space—both literally and figuratively.
Time boundaries
Time boundaries are limits around where our time should go—and where it shouldn’t.
Time boundaries are telling the person who stops by our office, “Hey, I can only talk for 15 minutes.” It’s acknowledging that our time, like our energy, is limited.
Intellectual boundaries
Intellectual boundaries are the limits we set on sharing and receiving thoughts, ideas, and opinions, including respectful disagreement and intellectual property.
Intellectual boundaries are asking not to be interrupted when someone speaks over us in a meeting. “Please let me finish.” It’s feeling comfortable walking away from conversations that are less than collaborative.
Material boundaries
Material boundaries are limits around the possessions we lend, share, and borrow.
Material boundaries are saying, “I can’t afford to spend money on this right now.” It’s naming the uncomfortable truths that ultimately help keep us in check.
Relationship boundaries
Relationship boundaries are limits around our agreements, behaviors, and expectations within different relationships.
Relationship boundaries are being comfortable telling someone, “I’m not appreciating the tone you’re using with me right now. Let’s sync up later.” It’s not assuming someone knows that they’ve gone too far, because oftentimes, they have no clue.
Professional boundaries
Professional boundaries are limits around work-related tasks, responsibilities, and interactions with colleagues and supervisors.
Professional boundaries are choosing not to review emails after 5pm. It’s remembering that our job is only part of who we are, and that we show up better when we have the balance we need.
Digital boundaries
Digital boundaries are limits we set around digital communication and social media usage, including sharing personal information, privacy settings, and screen time.
Digital boundaries are carving out specific periods of time to respond to messages on Slack, rather than being available all day, every day. It’s protecting our attention and energy in an increasingly fast-paced world.
Some final thoughts…
We often speak to our boundaries as if we know exactly what we’re saying. But the truth is, when it comes down to the nitty gritty details, many of us are less than clear.
Most of us also don’t realize we needed to set a boundary until well after it’s crossed—when we’re beyond frustrated, exhausted, and disconnected.
The consequences of no boundaries are varied. Dissatisfaction, disengagement, stagnation, delays, outbursts, resignations. And when we treat boundary-setting like a one-time power move rather than an intentional, nuanced practice that we exercise over time, in multiple ways and contexts, we risk the inevitable.
Boundaries are often ill-defined, but when we talk about them in detail—when we talk about what boundaries actually are, and how they show up—we can begin to set and sustain them in a way that actually helps us.
Because when we’re clear and honest, we’re less likely to cross the line.
What’s one boundary you’re working on right now? Share your thoughts below!
This is such a great and needed breakdown. I see so many leaders talk about "boundaries" like it's a one-time statement you declare and walk away from. But as you've beautifully outlined—it’s actually an ongoing practice of clarity, communication, and self-honesty.
Thank you for putting language to what so many struggle to articulate.
I love discussions around boundaries as it relates to the workplace! So many of us bring our own experiences to work and often, if you struggle with boundaries, it can manifest itself in stressful relationships with your supervisor and/or colleagues. Only when we learn about the power of boundaries when we can manage how we respond to other people's actions or behaviors (and find our voice and power).