This is such a great and needed breakdown. I see so many leaders talk about "boundaries" like it's a one-time statement you declare and walk away from. But as you've beautifully outlined—it’s actually an ongoing practice of clarity, communication, and self-honesty.
Thank you for putting language to what so many struggle to articulate.
Really appreciate your reflection here, Robyn! There's so much power in clarity, communication, and self-honesty, and as you note, it's something we need to keep doing!
I love discussions around boundaries as it relates to the workplace! So many of us bring our own experiences to work and often, if you struggle with boundaries, it can manifest itself in stressful relationships with your supervisor and/or colleagues. Only when we learn about the power of boundaries when we can manage how we respond to other people's actions or behaviors (and find our voice and power).
Yes! We all bring these different experiences with us. We're loaded beings, I like to say, and encounters from parts of our lives over here influence parts over there, even if we don't like acknowledging it. When we have boundaries, we can better set ourselves up for success in different spaces, and we make sure others aren't left wondering what we deem acceptable or not.
The topic of boundaries is both fascinating and very complex to me. I think because, as you say, we normally don't know what our own boundaries are until we've crossed them.
And even then, we often act in line with our own boundaries, because we don't know what the other person's boundaries are. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!
As you say, honesty and clarity is what helps but so often I think the problem is confidence as well. Those with higher confidence (or seemingly so) often vocalise things more in the workplace, and are more comfortable setting expectations and boundaries. Those with lower confidence, less so. Perhaps that's a generalised viewpoint, but it's what I've experienced and I think it makes sense. Less confident - doubts over whether it's a 'you problem', whether you can and should communicate, etc.
You make a great point here, Imogen! Confidence and hierarchies play a role, too. Confidence is really, to your point, the backbone of speaking up, and taking things a step further, trust also helps. Folks need to know that they can speak up without fear of retribution... without being seen as the "problem" for communicating something.
Honestly, when I hear the word boundaries, what came to mind is an over sensitive person being triggered by a word. The word boundaries has a bad name. I’m reading this article and the categories you mention with examples, and realize, I have a lot of boundaries, and I don’t consider myself easily triggered. Recognizing and respecting these boundaries, gives rise to requesting permission, or clarity if the topic might be sensitive. Thank you for sharing this enlightening piece with the Substack community Melissa!
Thanks for your thoughtful reply, Kevin! I can totally understand what you're saying too... about the trigger component. I think the word "boundaries" is often overused and brought back from clinical spaces without all the context. But also to your point, I think we each have a lot of different boundaries. Maybe we don't speak to them or know quite how to name them, but they're there. And yes, totally agree re: the importance of recognizing different types of boundaries and being able to articulate things a bit more clearly.
This is such a great and needed breakdown. I see so many leaders talk about "boundaries" like it's a one-time statement you declare and walk away from. But as you've beautifully outlined—it’s actually an ongoing practice of clarity, communication, and self-honesty.
Thank you for putting language to what so many struggle to articulate.
Really appreciate your reflection here, Robyn! There's so much power in clarity, communication, and self-honesty, and as you note, it's something we need to keep doing!
I love discussions around boundaries as it relates to the workplace! So many of us bring our own experiences to work and often, if you struggle with boundaries, it can manifest itself in stressful relationships with your supervisor and/or colleagues. Only when we learn about the power of boundaries when we can manage how we respond to other people's actions or behaviors (and find our voice and power).
Yes! We all bring these different experiences with us. We're loaded beings, I like to say, and encounters from parts of our lives over here influence parts over there, even if we don't like acknowledging it. When we have boundaries, we can better set ourselves up for success in different spaces, and we make sure others aren't left wondering what we deem acceptable or not.
The topic of boundaries is both fascinating and very complex to me. I think because, as you say, we normally don't know what our own boundaries are until we've crossed them.
And even then, we often act in line with our own boundaries, because we don't know what the other person's boundaries are. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!
As you say, honesty and clarity is what helps but so often I think the problem is confidence as well. Those with higher confidence (or seemingly so) often vocalise things more in the workplace, and are more comfortable setting expectations and boundaries. Those with lower confidence, less so. Perhaps that's a generalised viewpoint, but it's what I've experienced and I think it makes sense. Less confident - doubts over whether it's a 'you problem', whether you can and should communicate, etc.
You make a great point here, Imogen! Confidence and hierarchies play a role, too. Confidence is really, to your point, the backbone of speaking up, and taking things a step further, trust also helps. Folks need to know that they can speak up without fear of retribution... without being seen as the "problem" for communicating something.
Honestly, when I hear the word boundaries, what came to mind is an over sensitive person being triggered by a word. The word boundaries has a bad name. I’m reading this article and the categories you mention with examples, and realize, I have a lot of boundaries, and I don’t consider myself easily triggered. Recognizing and respecting these boundaries, gives rise to requesting permission, or clarity if the topic might be sensitive. Thank you for sharing this enlightening piece with the Substack community Melissa!
Thanks for your thoughtful reply, Kevin! I can totally understand what you're saying too... about the trigger component. I think the word "boundaries" is often overused and brought back from clinical spaces without all the context. But also to your point, I think we each have a lot of different boundaries. Maybe we don't speak to them or know quite how to name them, but they're there. And yes, totally agree re: the importance of recognizing different types of boundaries and being able to articulate things a bit more clearly.